The "Professorial Lingua"!!!

The transition from school to college - from notebooks to notebook, from home to hostel.....and from teachers to professors (if I can put it that way).

Speaking of professors,some of them sure are strange. They have studied too much but are afraid of forgetting it unless they use it in their daily life. And the students usually end up being on the receiving side of this gyanopdesh...

Time Management Funda!
When a professor can't enter a class on time as the professor in-charge of the previous class didn't finish his class on time, two possible cases arise. One, he finishes his class on time and leaves. Second, if the professor is too much of an idealist and insists on taking a class not less than 1 hour, the students proceed with their standard warcry "Siiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrr...." Pat comes the reply, "I entered this class 10 min late at 12:10 pm, resulting in a phase shift. I need to take this class till 1:10 pm to the cycle..."

Uniplexing!?
There are times when the student is supposed to be jotting down notes during the lecture. But, the way we are, we keep murmuring to each other throughout. The professor realises this and starts erasing the board. Of course, very few would've actually completed it by then. Then comes another quote, "Multiplexing is not harmful in only those cases where efficiency is not a criteria. Those people who couldn't complete were the ones doing multiplexing!"

Transmitters or Receivers!?
If the professor finds everyone talking in his class (which isn't such a rare sight) and he wants to tell them to keep quiet, how does he say it!? "When someone speaks, he gives out energy and a person who is not talking at that moment must receive that energy. If all the students in the class keep talking, the teacher must receive the energy from all the sound waves generated by them. One person can't handle all this energy." Perhaps the professors should be equipped with storage batteries!

Caught Copying!?
If the answer scripts of two students who sit beside each other during exams is exactly the same, what happens!? The strict professors have only one thing to say - zero to both..."The waves generated in the two cases have same amplitude and frequency. However, a phase shift of 180 has been introduced which results in destructive interference. The resultant amplitude produced is zero."

Coupling!?
When an orthodox professor sees a guy and a gal together, he feels like saying, "Tumhara kuch nahi ho sakta!" or in other words, "It is true that opposites attract. But when two waves travelling in opposite directions interfere, a standing wave is produced with no net propagation of energy."

Proxy!?
If someone tries putting a proxy and ends up getting caught. "The receiver should respond only to a particular frequency. If it starts responding to everything, there'll be interference. Then on the same FM frequency, you'll listen to a amalgamation of different FMs."

LOL...

Keep quoting... And I'll keep scribbling...