The “Jack of All” Funda – Non-Academic Classes in School!!!

I have always been a ”jack of all, king of few” – at least I believe I am. I am used to doing petty chores at home – ranging from that of a plumber and a cobbler to a carpenter. And incidentally - by luck or by fluke – I’ve had such classes at school too. The IX class extravaganza (should I call it so) can never be forgotten – dance classes, music classes, glass painting and so on – nothing lasting more than a few weeks at most....

“Dance – Are You Insane???”
I got dumped into the batch going for dance classes – how I have no idea. But it seemed to consist of both guys and girls. So I thought – let’s go for one class and then we will see…..

The dance teacher tried her best to “tame” the guys – but none of us were willing to go the “classical dance” way. She hardly started dancing when we started muttering, chattering, hooting…..and stuff. Nevertheless, it seemed a scene out of a comedy movie. I wouldn’t have minded staying there without having to dance seriously, but the teacher wouldn’t agree to that. She was hell bent on teaching her students classical dance. At least western would’ve kept us there for a few days I guess. But classical – we didn’t even last a day. Or rather, the teacher drove us away. A one-day escapade!!!

“Tabla – Dha Dha Tirakita Ta!!!”
Next I went on to tabla classes. It lasted longer than the dance classes – that’s all I can say. The teacher was another sample – he was happy to see many people attending his classes, but he just didn’t have the time or the equipment to teach all of them. So we hardly learnt anything there.

The only thing I remember about those classes is weird suggestion to avoid the functioning of sweat glands in the palms, “Boil a mixture of ‘kaalshum’ and water and apply it on your palms.” And everyone started wondering, “What the hell is ‘kaalshum’?” Then he says, “It’s the one which is present in chuna (lime).” So it was calcium. And he says we can use chalk powder as a source of calcium. Of course, I had no intentions of following his weird Calcium-therapy. Moreover, calcium carbonate isn’t actually harmless to human skin. But we had a weirdo in our class too – Madan. He decides to try it. And the result – he ends up with blisters on his hands. That taught us not to trust that guy.

But before any more such weird suggestions could come from his repertoire, it was time to bid adieu….

“Keyboard – Losing Steam After Kick-Off!!!”
Then we got news that keyboard classes are going on as well. And few of us decide to jump there – keyboard sounds a lot more “modern” than the primitive tabla!

So we go there – and it was a disaster to say the least. We had no idea of chords and bass and stuff. It was pretty humiliating actually when you are asked to play a tune and it goes awfully disastrously wrong. Then the teacher says he’s taking private classes as well. And for some reason, I decide to go (mind, that was a wrong decision, still repent it). So I go and learn a few things – I won’t say he was a bad teacher, but he wasn’t such a good one either. And I hardly went for two months when I entered class X – full time studies as they say – and I left the classes. So it was pretty much a waste – and I bought a casio on top of that (haven’t played it in ages). Maybe someday I’ll take it out of the trunk and strike a few chords…..


I’ve had time to re-start all these years, but I’ve never been able to generate enthusiasm for any of them. Starting everything and leaving it without learning it fully – that’s all I am about I guess. The Universal Novice!!!